The "I just wanna be friends" Frog

One Sunday last fall, I was sitting in church and this guy got up to say something. I immediately was so attracted to him because he was super cute. Over the next few weeks, I would see him at activities but was always to scared to actually talk to him, so one day, I came home and told my roommates that we needed a game plan. How was I going to make this boy that didn’t even know I existed want to ask me out? That Sunday at church, I was just standing in the hall and the boy walked by me. I could tell he checked me out but he just kept walking by. He walked by two more times and then finally walked up to me and introduced himself. I could tell he was so nervous; it was actually really cute.  That night, I sent him an email about how nice it was to meet him at church. In the time it took for my message to send and my page to refresh, he had sent me a friend request. It was awesome to see that he was as excited as I was.
That Friday, he asked me to go on a date. We went to dinner at Olive Garden, my favorite restaurant, and then he told me he wanted to take me home to meet his family. Normally, I’d think that was a little weird, but I was totally digging this guy so I was okay with it. When we walked in his mom came to give me a hug. His dad said, “It is nice to finally meet you.” It was obvious he had been talking about me. Sadly, early the next morning, I was leaving for California for two weeks for Christmas vacation. He talked to me the whole day I drove down, and called me every day the whole two weeks I was gone. We would talk for HOURS every day. One day I think we talked for four hours! The more I talked to him and got to know him, the more I liked him and wanted to be with him. He even convinced me to come back home earlier than I had planned so that I would be with him for New Years Eve. The minute I got back from California, he came over to my apartment to get me. We went on a date and it was amazing. We finished off the night with a kiss that was amazing! The next day he came and got me early in the morning and we spent all day together, even late into the night. The next day was New Years Eve and he came over as was planned. Then at 10 pm he just left. I was so upset that I had come back from California early only to spend New Years alone. He called me right after midnight to tell me that he didn’t want anything romantic with me. He said that things were moving too fast and the whole time he had only wanted to be friends and that I just read into things. I told him that I did not have a single guy friend who would call me every day just to talk for hours and hours and that he totally gave me mixed signals, but he continued to say we were just friends.
Now, the issue is not that he wasn’t interested in me. I could have gotten over that. The reason he is on my “Frog List” is what followed in the months after he gave me the “just friends” line. In the four months following, he continued to come over at least once a week, sometimes more. Every time he came over, we would cuddle, sometimes kissing. He acted like he liked me. He continued with the mixed signals, to the point that I had a hard time wanting to date anyone else because all I wanted to do was be with him. The one thing I would like to teach all boys is to not tell a girl one thing but then DO another and then get mad at her when she is confused! Ultimately, the past five months have just been a waste of my time and heartbreak because he still claims that we are just friends. I don’t know if he just got scared or what, but I know that I did not create his feelings in my head. Oh well.

The Needy Frog

One Sunday night, I went to a church activity, and there I met a guy. When we were leaving, he put his arm around me and was SUPER cuddly…after like five minutes of knowing him! He wasn’t hideous, so I continued being my normal flirtatious self. Later that evening, the guy just showed up at my house. He asked me if he could take me somewhere. I was enjoying the instant attention so I agreed to go with him. He took me to the park to feed the ducks where we sat and talked for a long time. While we were there, my plans for the summer came up in conversation. I told him I was planning on doing an internship, maybe in Washington DC and he said, “You can’t leave for the summer! What if we get married?!” Woa woa woa buddy… I’ve known you for like an hour! After he brought up the “M” word, I started to panic, so we went to his car where he proceeded to serenade me for what felt like hours!

Monday, night, he came over. Tuesday night, he came over uninvited. Wednesday night, I went to the gym with one of my friends and had left my phone in the car. When I was finished, I had SIX missed calls from him. I called him back and he was mad that I had gone to the gym with someone else. Thursday I night, once again, he stopped by uninvited and fought with me because he just didn’t understand how after four days, I didn’t completely trust him. On Friday, he had texted me asking if he could take me on a secret activity. I told him yes, but that already had plans for the evening. He responded with, “Oh… I didn’t want to take YOU on a date. I’m already going out with someone else tonight!” Wow, um…Okay.

The next Sunday, he showed up at church with a girlfriend. I don’t think he wanted to date ME, he just wanted a girlfriend. At least he apparently found someone who can put up with his neediness! :)

.....and we're back! :)

I created this blog as a joke. I have dated a lot. I realize that I have my problems and I am no where NEAR close to being perfect, but I have had experiences with some real winners, and I think it’s funny to share my stories. This is not some attempt of some bitter girl to be a man-hater (like some “hate mail” tried to claim); this blog is more just like if I was hanging out with my friends reminiscing about funny things that happened in the good-ol-days. Pretty much, this blog is back up and running; if you can’t handle it…too bad! Stop reading!

The frogs with all the excuses

Okay, so there are a few different boys that fit under this category. The first one we will talk about is a boy I met through a mutual friend. This guy was so attractive! We started out by texting each other, pretty much nonstop every day for a week. The more we talked, the more I realized he was my dream boy. Like seriously, if I were to write down a list of all the qualities I wanted, he had them all. He was tall, skinny but muscular, blonde hair, blue eyes and tan. He was smart. He had been the valedictorian of his high school and already gotten his degree in Zoology. He was also athletic. He had played basketball, baseball and football in high school, quarter back for his college football team, and had just started fighting in an amateur boxing league. Well, on our first date, we totally hit it off and he was really sweet. We even hung out for a few months. Unfortunately, he lived little over an hour away. I was totally okay with the distance, but things ended when he gave me:

Excuse #1: “You know, I really like you, but my life is just really busy right now and I don’t have time to devote to a relationship with someone who lives so far away.”

The next boy is another one I met on the Internet. Once again, we really hit it off. After our first time hanging out, we continued to hang out almost every day for two weeks until I went on vacation to California. While I was gone (for two weeks) he even said he wouldn’t go out with any other girls and would wait until I got back. We continued to hang out for a month after I got home from my trip. I even met his family and they loved me. They would tell us all the time they wanted us to get married. I started to really like him and he think he noticed it as well, because once again, he gave me an excuse.

Excuse #2: “I really like you and I know that my family loves you and I have really tried to make it work, but I just can’t get over my ex-girlfriend (that broke up with me a year ago). I can’t be in a relationship right now.”

This third boy is a boy I met at church. I had a huge crush on him! One day, he added me as a friend on Facebook. Because I thought he was cute, I sent him an email saying, “So since we were already church friends, and now we are Facebook friends, next we should work on being real life friends and actually hang out with each other.” He agreed. Over the next few months, we went on six different dates. Once again, things were going really well until:

Excuse #3: “You are seriously an awesome girl and I will always care about you but I just can’t date a girl in the same ward as me! I just can't do it.”

Message to all boys: Stop being a sissy! Man up! And STOP making excuses!

The frogs who actually have potential

So I have some news… you may wanna sit down for this one, but in the past few weeks, I HAVE actually had a few good dates. I feel like in order to not sound completely bitter, I must share the good stories too (even though they are never nearly as exciting). I mean this blog is supposed to sort of document the process of finding my prince, and there are bound to be good dates along the way as well, even if they don’t amount into anything.

I kind of think that this first date is actually a result of someone reading this blog. There was a boy from my class over the summer (the same class as the really really ridiculously good looking frog). One day, just in passing, I told him I had been writing a blog so I told him he should read it. He couldn’t believe the boys I had gone on dates with so told me he would have to take me on a good date. The night he wanted to go out was a night I had class so we were unable to do anything until late in the evening. He picked me up (which is already an improvement, most boys make me drive to them) and took me to dinner at Mimi’s Café. After dinner, he had two thermoses of hot chocolate and a blanket and took me to the park. He laid out the blanket, put a jacket he had brought around my shoulders and we just sat and talked and drank our hot chocolate. It was a really cute idea.

This next boy I actually met a long time ago. When I very first moved to Utah, I had a job and he was my manager. At that point in time, he was married so we were friends but that’s it. I have not seen or heard from him in years until about a month ago when he sent me a message on Facebook. He had recently gotten divorced and wanted to do something sometime. We hung out a few times but then one night he took me to dinner and a Jazz game. I had never been to a Jazz game so I was very excited. He even bought me all sorts of treats at the game: nachos, cotton candy, and a soda. The way to my heart is definitely through food. ☺

The frog with all the warts

So I have this ex boyfriend. He will get his own blog post later on about all my magical experiences with him, but for the purpose of this story, you just need to know that he is very controlling, and well, quite honestly, this was not one of my most mature moments. :) One day I was looking at his Facebook and saw that he had a VERY attractive friend. I texted my ex saying, "So who is so and so?" He responded with, "You are FORBIDDEN from ever talking to him!" Well, being the stubborn person I am, I do not like to be told I'm forbidden from doing anything, so I immediately sent the friend an email. He responded with, "Hey, so I'd really like to talk to you but I'm loyal to my dear friend (insert ex boyfriends name here) and can't do that to him." Fair enough, so I decided to leave him alone.

About a month or so later, I get another email from the friend saying "(Exes name) is in Mexico. Lets hang out! I wanna take you out tomorrow!" So I ended up going out with him. We went to dinner and back to his house to watch a movie. Things went really well. The next morning I even woke up to a text message from him. We continued to talk to each other all day and then later in the afternoon he dropped a bomb on me. I got a message saying, "There are a few reasons you could never be my girlfriend. Would you like to know them?" I was so thrown of but of course I wanted to hear what he had to say. "I could never date a girl who has really bad breath. You need better deodorant. You need to shave your legs better and I could never date you and lose my best friend because of you." I was devastated! I actually had to leave work early because I couldn't stop crying.

Well stupid me, I'm a dumb girl and a sucker for a hot guy, because I continued to hang out with this guy, probably for about a month. One day I went to play tennis with a mutual friend and we got talking about the boy I had been hanging out with. This is when he told me, "You know he has a bunch of STD's because he has had sex with hundreds of girls. He even just had a kid be born like a month ago, AND he is an adulterer. He was having an affair with his sister-in-law...HIS BROTHERS WIFE!"

Moral of the story: When you are growing up, your parents teach you to share your things with your brothers and sisters. When you get older, I think we draw the line at sharing your spouse....and your STDs. That is NEVER okay!

The frog that spread his love around.....a little too much!

So there was this guy I met when I was like 14 and going to youth dances. We initially thought he was really weird but over the years became pretty decent friends. I remember one time, he was dating one of my best friends and when she wasn't around he would always try to put the moves on me and tell me I was the one he wanted to be dating. We thought he was such a slime ball so we tried to set him up. My car at this point in time was a Ford Expedition so we had my friend hide in the very back on the floor and then we hid a tape recorder in the middle console. I then picked up this boy and got him to confess his "true feelings" for me and talk about how he didn't REALLY like my friend. Of course he was not happy when my friend jumped out from the back and he knew he was busted. The even better part was when we went inside to the party we were at and played the taped version for all our friends. Ha ha

Well years pass and this boy goes on his mission, comes home, and I moved away to Utah. Through all this we still managed to keep in contact with each other. There was even one point in time where he was coming up to visit and told me he really wanted to take me on a date. The plan was that he was going to be staying with one of his guy friends so I needed to bring a friend along to make it a double date. I decided to bring my roommate, we will call her "Ho". I should have known she would be bad news. Anyway, the four of us went to a movie. This boy was all over me; super cuddly and touchy feely. During the movie, he reached over to hold my hand. It was a snowy night so he had laid his jacket across his lap. About half way through the movie, I look over and Ho had HER hand under his jacket and on his lap holding his hand too! I was SO MAD! After the movie, they were all talking about going and doing something afterward but I just felt sick. The only thing I wanted to do was to go home.

Once we got to our house, I said good bye and went straight up to bed...still so unbelievably mad. The next morning I got a text from him saying, "I'm so sorry Jolene. Don't hate me!" "WHAT DID YOU DO?!" is all I could think. Turns out that after I had gone to bed the night before, Ho snuck him back in and they had SEX on my couch! Words can not express the anger I felt.

Moral of the story: Sometimes other Princesses are just as bad if not worse than the frogs.