The frogs with all the excuses

Okay, so there are a few different boys that fit under this category. The first one we will talk about is a boy I met through a mutual friend. This guy was so attractive! We started out by texting each other, pretty much nonstop every day for a week. The more we talked, the more I realized he was my dream boy. Like seriously, if I were to write down a list of all the qualities I wanted, he had them all. He was tall, skinny but muscular, blonde hair, blue eyes and tan. He was smart. He had been the valedictorian of his high school and already gotten his degree in Zoology. He was also athletic. He had played basketball, baseball and football in high school, quarter back for his college football team, and had just started fighting in an amateur boxing league. Well, on our first date, we totally hit it off and he was really sweet. We even hung out for a few months. Unfortunately, he lived little over an hour away. I was totally okay with the distance, but things ended when he gave me:

Excuse #1: “You know, I really like you, but my life is just really busy right now and I don’t have time to devote to a relationship with someone who lives so far away.”

The next boy is another one I met on the Internet. Once again, we really hit it off. After our first time hanging out, we continued to hang out almost every day for two weeks until I went on vacation to California. While I was gone (for two weeks) he even said he wouldn’t go out with any other girls and would wait until I got back. We continued to hang out for a month after I got home from my trip. I even met his family and they loved me. They would tell us all the time they wanted us to get married. I started to really like him and he think he noticed it as well, because once again, he gave me an excuse.

Excuse #2: “I really like you and I know that my family loves you and I have really tried to make it work, but I just can’t get over my ex-girlfriend (that broke up with me a year ago). I can’t be in a relationship right now.”

This third boy is a boy I met at church. I had a huge crush on him! One day, he added me as a friend on Facebook. Because I thought he was cute, I sent him an email saying, “So since we were already church friends, and now we are Facebook friends, next we should work on being real life friends and actually hang out with each other.” He agreed. Over the next few months, we went on six different dates. Once again, things were going really well until:

Excuse #3: “You are seriously an awesome girl and I will always care about you but I just can’t date a girl in the same ward as me! I just can't do it.”

Message to all boys: Stop being a sissy! Man up! And STOP making excuses!

The frogs who actually have potential

So I have some news… you may wanna sit down for this one, but in the past few weeks, I HAVE actually had a few good dates. I feel like in order to not sound completely bitter, I must share the good stories too (even though they are never nearly as exciting). I mean this blog is supposed to sort of document the process of finding my prince, and there are bound to be good dates along the way as well, even if they don’t amount into anything.

I kind of think that this first date is actually a result of someone reading this blog. There was a boy from my class over the summer (the same class as the really really ridiculously good looking frog). One day, just in passing, I told him I had been writing a blog so I told him he should read it. He couldn’t believe the boys I had gone on dates with so told me he would have to take me on a good date. The night he wanted to go out was a night I had class so we were unable to do anything until late in the evening. He picked me up (which is already an improvement, most boys make me drive to them) and took me to dinner at Mimi’s Café. After dinner, he had two thermoses of hot chocolate and a blanket and took me to the park. He laid out the blanket, put a jacket he had brought around my shoulders and we just sat and talked and drank our hot chocolate. It was a really cute idea.

This next boy I actually met a long time ago. When I very first moved to Utah, I had a job and he was my manager. At that point in time, he was married so we were friends but that’s it. I have not seen or heard from him in years until about a month ago when he sent me a message on Facebook. He had recently gotten divorced and wanted to do something sometime. We hung out a few times but then one night he took me to dinner and a Jazz game. I had never been to a Jazz game so I was very excited. He even bought me all sorts of treats at the game: nachos, cotton candy, and a soda. The way to my heart is definitely through food. ☺

The frog with all the warts

So I have this ex boyfriend. He will get his own blog post later on about all my magical experiences with him, but for the purpose of this story, you just need to know that he is very controlling, and well, quite honestly, this was not one of my most mature moments. :) One day I was looking at his Facebook and saw that he had a VERY attractive friend. I texted my ex saying, "So who is so and so?" He responded with, "You are FORBIDDEN from ever talking to him!" Well, being the stubborn person I am, I do not like to be told I'm forbidden from doing anything, so I immediately sent the friend an email. He responded with, "Hey, so I'd really like to talk to you but I'm loyal to my dear friend (insert ex boyfriends name here) and can't do that to him." Fair enough, so I decided to leave him alone.

About a month or so later, I get another email from the friend saying "(Exes name) is in Mexico. Lets hang out! I wanna take you out tomorrow!" So I ended up going out with him. We went to dinner and back to his house to watch a movie. Things went really well. The next morning I even woke up to a text message from him. We continued to talk to each other all day and then later in the afternoon he dropped a bomb on me. I got a message saying, "There are a few reasons you could never be my girlfriend. Would you like to know them?" I was so thrown of but of course I wanted to hear what he had to say. "I could never date a girl who has really bad breath. You need better deodorant. You need to shave your legs better and I could never date you and lose my best friend because of you." I was devastated! I actually had to leave work early because I couldn't stop crying.

Well stupid me, I'm a dumb girl and a sucker for a hot guy, because I continued to hang out with this guy, probably for about a month. One day I went to play tennis with a mutual friend and we got talking about the boy I had been hanging out with. This is when he told me, "You know he has a bunch of STD's because he has had sex with hundreds of girls. He even just had a kid be born like a month ago, AND he is an adulterer. He was having an affair with his sister-in-law...HIS BROTHERS WIFE!"

Moral of the story: When you are growing up, your parents teach you to share your things with your brothers and sisters. When you get older, I think we draw the line at sharing your spouse....and your STDs. That is NEVER okay!

The frog that spread his love around.....a little too much!

So there was this guy I met when I was like 14 and going to youth dances. We initially thought he was really weird but over the years became pretty decent friends. I remember one time, he was dating one of my best friends and when she wasn't around he would always try to put the moves on me and tell me I was the one he wanted to be dating. We thought he was such a slime ball so we tried to set him up. My car at this point in time was a Ford Expedition so we had my friend hide in the very back on the floor and then we hid a tape recorder in the middle console. I then picked up this boy and got him to confess his "true feelings" for me and talk about how he didn't REALLY like my friend. Of course he was not happy when my friend jumped out from the back and he knew he was busted. The even better part was when we went inside to the party we were at and played the taped version for all our friends. Ha ha

Well years pass and this boy goes on his mission, comes home, and I moved away to Utah. Through all this we still managed to keep in contact with each other. There was even one point in time where he was coming up to visit and told me he really wanted to take me on a date. The plan was that he was going to be staying with one of his guy friends so I needed to bring a friend along to make it a double date. I decided to bring my roommate, we will call her "Ho". I should have known she would be bad news. Anyway, the four of us went to a movie. This boy was all over me; super cuddly and touchy feely. During the movie, he reached over to hold my hand. It was a snowy night so he had laid his jacket across his lap. About half way through the movie, I look over and Ho had HER hand under his jacket and on his lap holding his hand too! I was SO MAD! After the movie, they were all talking about going and doing something afterward but I just felt sick. The only thing I wanted to do was to go home.

Once we got to our house, I said good bye and went straight up to bed...still so unbelievably mad. The next morning I got a text from him saying, "I'm so sorry Jolene. Don't hate me!" "WHAT DID YOU DO?!" is all I could think. Turns out that after I had gone to bed the night before, Ho snuck him back in and they had SEX on my couch! Words can not express the anger I felt.

Moral of the story: Sometimes other Princesses are just as bad if not worse than the frogs.

The really really ridiculously good looking frog

Okay, so, this one is gonna be a little harder for me to share because it is still fresh and I'm still a tad bit hurt from the whole situation.

This summer I took a class at school and the very first day of class in walks the hottest guy! He was seriously so attractive. Throughout the semester, I slowly moved to sit closer and closer to him until we sat next to each other and began talking all through class. He had the hottest body. His small shirts would showcase his muscley arms and shoulders...wow! Multiple times I would tell people about how distracted I was in class because I was constantly staring at his muscles. The best part of the whole thing was he would flirt with me too! In fact, he is the one who found me on Facebook and added me as his friend. We would constantly email each other back and forth and were becoming good friends. As soon as we finished our class, he got my phone number and we started texting each other in addition to the email. We would openly flirt with each other and made it known we were attracted to each other. We wanted to hang out but he was going to Germany for two weeks so he said we would hang out as soon as he got back. We continued emailing the two weeks he was gone and then he texted me as soon as he got back onto American soil.

Well the next week was FABULOUS! We hung out every day. We would meet up in the library in between classes and he would hold my hand as we studied. We had a picnic under a tree one day and just laid there talking forever. One night he met up with me just so he could walk me to class holding my hand the whole way. I even met his mom. Another night when we finished hanging out, he walked me to my car and we shared the most AMAZING kiss! I can't remember the last time I felt butterflies so strong. For you “Princess Diaries” fans out there, it was definitely a “foot popping kiss”. After it happened I smiled the whole rest of the night.

So why is he on my list of frogs you might ask. Well in the middle of the week he had asked me to go on a date with him Friday night to the school volleyball game (at 7pm). So Friday rolls around and I was so excited to see him again. At about 4pm I texted him asking what the plan was for the night. He explained that it was his step-dad's birthday so his mom wanted him to help BBQ dinner but that we could maybe hang out after that. I was fine as long as I got to see him. So I sat around waiting until about 8:30pm and I texted him again saying, “So, how's it going?” He responded with, “They are just eating” so I kept waiting. I never heard from him again. I was so dumb because I kept giving him the benefit of the doubt and making excuses for him. I tried calling him Sunday afternoon just to give it one last chance. No answer. So I got home and got on Facebook and his status (posted Friday night) was, “[Name] is having so much fun at the Volleyball game”. He lied to me, stood me up and then went to the volleyball game without me! I was so hurt....SO HURT! I didn't even care if he wanted to date other girls but don't lie to me. A few days later I saw him at the library and he acted like nothing had ever happened between us. Didn't acknowledge that we were supposed to go out and stood me up, nothing. Just goes to show that pretty people think they can get away with anything and don't care who they hurt in the process.

The cheapskate frog

So yes, I went through a phase of online dating, and at one point in time I was talking to this boy. He lived up in Salt Lake (45 minutes away). I had this rule that when I met a guy for the first time, I would always drive to them and meet them somewhere public. I did this mainly for safety purposes but also so I had a way to leave if the date completely sucked. Well, one day this guy wanted to go to lunch. I told him my usual, “Well, let me meet you somewhere.” So he said, “Okay, how about up here down the street from my house?” Once again I was too nice so I said okay and drove the 45 minutes to go to him. We met and the restaurant and he was one of those “not nearly as cute in person as in his pictures” type of guys, but that’s beside the point. We went to eat at Training Table and the way that it works is you order your food and then when it is ready you go up to the counter to pick it up and pay. When our food was ready, I expected to just sit there while he went to get it but he said, “Are you coming?” Uh, okay, I guess I thought so I followed him to the counter. “That will be X much money,” said the cashier. My date just stared at me and said, “Well!?” HE EXPECTED ME TO PAY! I should have said something but was so caught off guard I couldn’t think straight. I walked back to the table to get my purse thinking to myself, “He must be kidding. He will have paid by the time I get back with my card,” but no. He just waited and then still let me pay. As soon as we were done eating he said, “Okay, thanks! Nice to meet you,” and left. He just used me for a free lunch! Jerk!

The white trash frog

I was reminded yesterday about a date I went on a few years ago. While working at the school, a guy came to inspect our fire extinguishers. I didn’t really pay much attention to him but apparently he noticed me because he asked multiple co-workers of mine if I was single and other questions about me. He even called the school a few times trying to get a hold of me. I finally talked to him and he asked me if I would like to go on a date. I agreed so we went out a few nights later.

He came to pick me up and was wearing some JNCO jeans with the huge back pockets and a black t-shirt with dragons on it. Wow! He took me to TGIFridays, a restaurant I actually really like. Before we even got to the restaurant, he had managed to tell me that he was 34 years old (I was 23), still lived at home, didn’t have a car so had to borrow his moms, never went to school and didn’t go to church. Someone should teach this boy how to sell himself better. Dinner was ridiculously awkward. Whenever I go to a restaurant, I always like to people watch. I think it is hilarious to watch people on dates to see how they interact with each other. People watching us would have been laughing so hard because it was obvious I was not enjoying myself. After dinner he asked me if I wanted to go play mini-golf but honestly, I could not even handle any more conversation with him so I suggested we go to a movie instead (that way we wouldn’t have to talk to each other). As soon as we got to the movie theater and sat down he excused himself and went outside for TWENTY MINUTES! When he came back in he smelled so bad like cigarette smoke. He really had to leave in the middle of our date for a smoke break?!

After the movie, luckily, he took me back home and I never went out with him again! (Even though he did try calling me many times after that ha ha ha)

The frog that thought with the wrong "brain"

So I met this boy in church. Him and his friend sat next to me and my roommate. The whole time during church he was flirting with my roommate. She had a boyfriend so he was trying to get her to break up with him. He kept saying things like, “I’ll only give you the hymn book if you dump your boyfriend.” At the end of church, he exchanged numbers with me “Just in case the roommate breaks up with her boyfriend.” Well that night, he sent me a text message and we started talking. He invited me over to watch a movie. While watching the movie he kept trying to kiss me. He kept kissing my neck and my cheek. I finally gave in and kissed him back.

A few days later, I was at work and he sent me a text message again. He had asked how I was doing and I said I was stressed. He said, “Well why don’t you come over after work and I’ll give you a back massage.” Well I’m not one to turn down a free massage so of course I went over. As he was massaging, he kept trying to take off my shirt and I got really mad. I told him he needed to respect me if he wanted to hang out with me again. He tried to start kissing me and told me, “Turn this way so that the camera can get you. My roommate is watching us from upstairs!” This made me so mad. To top it off, he kept saying, “So you can only stay til 11 because my next girl is coming over at 11:15.” I remember telling him, “I don’t know you well enough to know if you are joking so those types of things make me very uncomfortable.”

Wow.. I forgot how long this story is. ☺ I had kind of written this boy off thinking that he just wanted to date me to get some action, so I was very surprised when a week later, he texted me saying, “I really want to take you on a real actual date so I can get to know you. Let me take you out tomorrow.” I was SHOCKED! Of course I said I would go so he actually picked me up, we went and got lunch, and he took me on a picnic lunch up the canyon. It was beautiful and such a nice day. He was a complete gentleman and really made an effort. He even asked me to come over again the next day to watch another movie. Things were going good.

The following weekend, he asked me out again. We went to Outback Steakhouse to get food and desserts. He wouldn’t let me order anything I wanted. We ordered the food HE wanted and he shared his dish with me. After a while of just sitting, he started to act a little awkward. I asked him what was wrong and he said, “Oh nothing, I just don’t have anything I want to talk to you about…lets talk about your boobs!” I was shocked! “Are you serious!?” I asked. “Because you can take me home right now.” Instead of trying to fix things, he just said, “Okay, lets go home.” I was SO MAD!

Now I know I am so dumb because I should have just dropped him then, but I still hung out with him one more time. He told me he wanted to talk in person instead of over text so I went over to his house. When there, he gave me his excuse for the rude comment he had said the last time we had hung out. “The food we were eating made me feel so sick that all my brain could think about was my stomach. So when you were trying to have conversation with me, since my brain was busy, my only other option was to think with my penis, and honestly, my penis is not good at having conversation.” I finally learned my lesson. He does not deserve to EVER go out with me again.

The frog that forgot he was married...

So when I used to work at Big 5 back in California, one day we had a manager who was sick so they brought in a manager from another store to be the sub for the day. He was from Palm Springs (like an hour away) so I had never seen him before. I thought he was very cute and apparently he thought I was cute as well because he seemed to follow me around the whole day that we were working together. When I went to go home that night, I realized that the tires had been stolen from his car (good ol’ ghetto downtown San Bernardino). I ended up having to give him a ride to the store to get new tires. After spending all this time together we realized we were both liking each other so we started dating.

We went out a bunch of times over the next few months. It was nice because he would always come to me and do all the work because he lived so far away. He would say, “I don’t want you to have to drive home late at night so I’ll just come out to your house.” I remember one time, we went to visit my mom at work and one of her co-workers came up to us and said to him, “You are such a gentleman! I saw you open her car door to get out of the car and then you pulled out her chair for her to sit down at the table. More guys should be like you.” He was such a nice guy and treated me super well. The odd thing was that my dad really didn’t like him. I remember even fighting with my dad that he needed to be less judgmental because I liked this guy and he made me happy.

So after a while of us hanging out, I left to go up to Utah for the weekend. As I was driving up, I got a phone call from a private number. I answered and it was some girl. The conversation went as follows:
Girl: Who is this?!
Me: WHO is THIS?!
Girl: How do you know [boys name]?
Me: We work together.
Girl: Well I just wanted you to know he is my husband so stay away!

Worst timing ever because right at this point in time I drove through a canyon so lost reception and dropped the call. So of course I immediately called the boy to tell him what had happened. He denied the whole thing. Said he had gone to a party the night before and maybe someone got a hold of his phone and was playing a joke. I asked him straight out, “Are you married?” and he said no. I accepted his answer and just decided the girl must be a crazy ex or something.

A few hours later, I got a phone call from him saying, “Okay babe. Here’s the story. I kind of AM married. “ I dumped him IMMEDIATELY and he had the nerve to get mad at me for not being more understanding.

The frog that leaves out very important information...

One weekend, I went up to visit my little sister at school. We went to church; it was her first Sunday since moving there. These two boys came and sat by us and one of them was really cute. I told my sister she needed to date him. Throughout the rest of church, we were watching him and we realized he was kinda a jerk. He made rude comments and mocked people when they would say things in class. Well apparently, he saw that I kept checking him out because he even made fun of me about it later, but that's beside the point. Eventually, this frog ended up becoming friends with my sister, in fact he took her out on a few dates and they made out a few times. During their friendship, he added me as a Facebook friend and we began talking as well. At the beginning of the summer, he moved back home to Oklahoma to work. We talked often while he was there and towards the end of the summer he started to talk to me more and even began telling me he wanted me to come visit him when he got back up to school. He said he was so excited to get the chance to make out with me. He said he was excited for us to get to spend the weekend together. I told him that if I came up, it would be strictly to visit him because I didn't know anyone else up there (since my sister had moved back home) so he needed to be okay with the idea he would have to spend the whole weekend with me. He said he was. Over the next month or so, multiple times he brought up me coming up there asking if I was excited to come visit.

So tell me why a few days later, he changes his Facebook status to say: “So and so is engaged!” and posted pictures of him and his new “fiance” kissing?! Slimeball. He had been dating a girl the whole time and was now engaged. I could not believe it! I am still baffled that he could be such a jerk.

The frog who wants to hang out only when its convenient for him...

I met this frog probably 6 months ago on the Internet. We started out talking on the phone and texting. He seemed like a really cool guy. We hung out a few times and I really liked him. The annoying thing about him was that we would hang out and then he would drop off the face of the earth for a bit and then just out of nowhere be like “Okay, come over.” This got old really fast. I told him he needed to either plan things and take me on real dates or we just needed to be done. Well, needless to say, I did not hear from him again...until the other night when I got a text from an unknown number. The text just said, “Hey beautiful. I have missed hanging out with you. How have you been.” I tried to pull the whole “I am so sorry, I had to get a new phone so lost all my numbers.” He saw right through it and said “You are such a liar! That's an excuse!” I stuck to my story and said, “No I swear! I dropped my phone in the pool while I was tanning! I didn't even have my family members phone numbers anymore.” So anyway, he told me who he was.

So today we were texting and he was like, “So what are you doing tonight?” I responded with, “I have to work until 10 but we should watch a movie or something when I get off.” He responded with, “Well I was gonna do something but if everything else falls through I'll give you a call.” aka... “If nothing better comes along I'll call you up.” Way to make a girl feel good about herself. I responded with, “Actually, I don't want to be your fall-back plan if nothing else comes along so never mind. Another time.” He had the nerve to get mad at me for not wanting to sit around all night waiting for him to maybe call! Ugh! Boys!

So here's the deal.....

I just thought that before I get started on this thing, I needed to give a little disclaimer. I have been told by a few people that the idea of this blog is "immature" and "asking for drama" and that by doing this i am going to sound "bitter and full of gossip". THIS IS NOT MY INTENTION! Honestly, quite often, I find myself sharing my dating experiences with all sorts of people. Not to toot my own horn, but I truly feel like I have good stories (mainly because I have been on some crazy dates!). I don't share these stories because I am trying to create problems or because I am trying to put these boys on blast; if anything, I am just doing it for myself, just to write these things down kinda like a journal. If this offends you, or you don't like the idea or the things on here, then stop reading...no one is making you follow my blog :)